A break from the norm

12-25-07

the clouds are so close I could literally touch them if only I was allowed to open my small Plexiglas looking glass.

Below me are thousands of children opening their eyes as the sun comes through the window to remind them it's Christmas morning.

Mighty mountains not covered in snow are clear to see and magnificent from up here.

Valleys filled with small towns and families running out to their living room trees to see what surprises lie beneath

I don't even know what I'm doing up here.

Mostly I couldn't bear to sit at home with my parents while my siblings were at home with their families celebrating the day.

I couldn't make it through another holiday wondering when it would be my turn.

so, I bought a plane ticket to Chicago

The only place in the world where happiness for me is guaranteed

The people there watched me grow into an adult during my first two years of college

They welcome me openly without ever pointing out the fact that I'm single.

my pressure-free zone

Am I running away from home and who I really am or am I going right into the arms of where I belong....

Yellowstone (part one)

For those of you who have asked, here is the beginning of the story of my trip to Montana. Check in daily for updates...it gets pretty good. Just bear with me because I'm starting in the middle.

On the third day of my trip to Montana, we were finally going to visit
Yellowstone. When I was ten, my family drove across the country from
Seattle to Pennsylvania and my siblings and I were promised a visit to
Yellowstone. I remember being excited to drive through the park, see
the wildlife, hike through the steamy trails, and sit and wait until
the great Old Faithful blew his top.

Like many times in my childhood,
my parents made a promise that they didn't keep. Instead, we went to
see the Grand Tetons. Although these are, by far, some of the most
majestic mountains I have ever seen, I was less than impressed
considering the fact that I had been living in Alaska with the mammoth
Mt. McKinley right outside my window. Plus, there was no erupting
geyser at this park. I spent the next 19 years saying that one day, I
would get to Wyoming again and I would see Old Faithful and the other
wonders of Yellowstone Park.

While planning a visit to Montana to see an old friend who recently moved out there, I suggested we go to Yellowstone on one of his days off. His initial reaction was to say "no" and that it was too far, but then he changed his mind the day before I flew out to see him. His idea was to drive part way down and stay in an elite hotel in Livingston and then drive the rest of the way on the next day. He made a deal with me that he would take me and pay for everything as long as I agreed to leave in time to get back to Great Falls for a football game. A football game.

My friend is about to look bad in this story, so I am leaving his name out of it. Also, I have to preface this account by saying he is probably the one person in the world that I love and care about more than anybody else and whom I absolutely adore. He has been part of my life for the last fourteen years and I truly think he is an amazing and wonderful person. However, I still cannot understand how someone could think that a football game could ever trump a natural wonder. Still, he offered to take me on a ten hour round trip to see what I’d been wanting to see and he was paying for it, so I kept my mouth shut…..quite literally, actually, I barely talked the entire trip.

tears on my guitar

Somehow the wide open spaces of Montana and the mystery of the mountains there have gotten my attention and made me silly. I am craving belt buckles and cowboy hats, a good steak and a toe-tappin' night of dancing. I spent a week of arguing with a good friend while I was there, but I still can't get the place off my mind and have wanted nothing more than to go back ever since I left. I have mocked country music since I was born and have more often turned to the hip-hop, alternative, and rock music of the east. On surveys I have always listed "everything but country" as my favorite music. Now, I am finding myself listening to songs with titles like, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy." I'm beginning to wonder if the years of horse camp and hiking as a child has put within me a longing for the West and the beauty of Big Sky Country.

whatever

So, I have a myspace a facebook and now I'm told I need a blog. So, here I am. Actually, I think I can have a little fun with this, so here goes.