My dad is big and strong. He is over 6 feet tall and his sholders are broad. He is quiet and reserved and sits in his chair from early in the morning till late at night reading his books. He doesn't watch sports or TV, hunt, drink beer, disrespect women or yell. He is gentle, kind, loving, and he listens. He fishes, gardens, reads, hikes, camps, and teaches us how to enjoy nature, love God, care for others, and explore the world. He loves people. He is always standing at the sidelines and in the audience cheering me on. He hates confrontation, war, mean people, and pettiness.
When I was five, he had cancer for the second time. I watched as the hair fell from his head and the weight fell off his body as he struggled with chemo. I visited him in the hospital. Then, I watched as he got better, grew his hair back, and slowly got strong again. For 25 years, he has been healthy. A few weeks ago, we were at the beach and he was very sick. When we got back, his high fever lasted over a week. After a bout of antibiotics, the doctor had him come in for a CAT scan.
Today, we found out that he has a growth on his liver and an irregular LFT on his blood tests. Tomorrow he goes in to meet with a surgeon to schedule a biopsy. I feel sick. After he told me, I went into the shower and cried so he wouldn't know I was already thinking the worst. Now, I don't know how to wait without my mind being totally consumed with what will happen next. somehow I thought writing might help.
